What you your to like? this to or other have behave a way, certain for vision Christmas be Do know expectations? Just couple weeks Christmas the is There lots advice in offering to through day. to the roast the etc. may one those people sail the without care maybe such champagne-induced glow you give festive but the of there often a of associated it. all our issues, mine one them) what did make better. We a tradition Hebden (a little in UK). Christmas in early the gather the around tree, sing accompanied the junior band. we everyone know come to for wine mince Sometimes a people but lots do. Now, my is bit a works hours still to fabulous for girls me nights. of I built an that folks for cheer, will involved serving the wine. The for years that would increasingly and as piled the and for festive My meanwhile, knocking the and in conversation, to suffering. By time emerge my red the wave guests moved to gatherings I slightly At end the he always taken by uncharitable, and unusual spirits, I always slightly about minded. would have rather discussion it forget until after party the year, I remember its like this. SO year decided should it Christmas (Doh!) BEFORE got hot bothered it. both about we about annual we to the (blindingly this to people get own During event would a of each is and on to up great guests We to girls it well, though had helped taking they delighted get in the erstwhile chores. What a difference my expectations, my vision for a warm and welcoming happy family-hosted gathering was finally translated into a reality. Apologies of those of you who are thinking along the lines of not exactly rocket science, that one, Jan believe me, it felt like it at the time. However, maybe this scenario strikes a chord for you. Your Christmas expectations are always scuppered, and it has a feeling of inevitability about it. If so, you might like to try the following in an effort to defuse the potential situation in good time. First of all, take a few minutes to ask yourself: - What are the things that sometimes go wrong, or give you stress at Christmas?
- Is there a feeling of inevitability about this?
- Have you got any control or influence over the situation?
If you answered no to that last one, just check it again, are you absolutely sure there is nothing YOU can do?- What are all the different things you could do to deal with this? (and this is when you are allowed to make crazy suggestions, sometimes the daftest ideas contain a real germ of wisdom. All I ask is that in the spirit of Christmas, your ideas should not involve violence ;)
- Which of those suggestions feels possible?
- Whose support do you need to make it happen?
- What resources (time, money, people, kitchen paper) do you need to make it happen?
Now you have to take action (thats always the crunch with coaching!): At a time when you are feeling relaxed and happy, open a discussion with the key players about this stress-point. You could tell the other person you always worry about this and you really want to make sure its OK this year. In a nutshell: - Be clear how you would like it to be
- Ask the other person how they would like it to be
- Discuss your hopes and expectations with each other
- Decide on the division of labour (if that is the issue)
- Agree to be kind to each other
- Agree with them to talk about how its going
Have a happy Christmas!Jan Scott - life coaching options www.thelifecoachforyou.co.uk Life Coaching has been the most significant event in my life for many years. You have delivered everything I hoped for when I first read your website. RR, Oxon |
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